


I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough

by royalstanley



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Billverly kiss but stenbrough, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, bet these tags make you want to read this eh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 17:55:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12562952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalstanley/pseuds/royalstanley
Summary: He watched them all leave, blood flowing down their fingertips and falling to the ground. It was fitting, he supposed. They were all leaving a part of themselves in Derry.





	I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is a reupload from a while ago bc im an idiot and i deleted it
> 
> hope you like it!
> 
> find me on tumblr: royalstanley

He watched them all leave, blood flowing down their fingertips and falling to the ground. It was fitting, he supposed. They were all leaving a part of themselves in Derry. First it was Mike. Then Ben. Then Eddie. Richie. Beverly lingered for a while, pressing a light kiss to Bill’s cheek and trailing her hand down Stan’s arm before she left; a subtle goodbye. Bill didn’t watch her leave, his eyes fixated on the boy in front of him. Stan got a sense of smug satisfaction from that, and he hated himself for it.

He knew his eyes lingered too long on the jagged glass while Bill sliced his palm open – he could see the unasked question in his friend’s expression. Stan stepped closer to him, aching to reach out and touch, but the warm, thick presence of the blood that seemed to be sinking into his skin made him think better of it. Bill gave him a soft look – Stan knew he was exhausted, knew he wanted to go home, they both did, but there was something magnetic between them that stopped that from happening.

“I-I didn’t mean it. When I said I hated you.” Stan croaked out.

Bill smiled faintly. “I-I-I know.” Bill didn’t know. Stan was a liar. He loved Bill, loved him so much, but he left him in Neibolt. He’d leave him again if It came back – there was always someone else to save before him, and before he knew it he’d be being consumed by that darkness he felt before, be forced to realised once again that  _they left him, Bill left him._

He realised that they were subconsciously moving towards each other a few steps at a time, and Stan shivered as Bill looked at him with a determination he knew he didn’t deserve. So, he mentioned the only thing that he was sure would make him stop. “I heard Beverly’s moving to Portland. Sucks.” Bill didn’t falter, his gaze still focused on him.

“Yeah. It sucks for all of us.” He was too confident, too sure about this. Stan was terrified. Where was his stutter? He should be as nervous as Stan was. His mouth felt dry, his legs were shaking, the scars on his face throbbing, trying to remind him of his friends’ abandonment. It almost seemed as if he said it out loud, as Bill whispered “I d-did follow G-G-Georgie. I did luh-luh-leave you. T-that’s only b-b-b-because I k-knew I h-h-had to end it. For y-you. For everyone.”

He didn’t want to argue about it. There was something final about this conversation; like once it was over it’d be the end of them. “Okay, Bill,” he whispered back. “Okay.”

They were finally close enough to touch each other, and Stan breathed out slowly as Bill’s gaze drifted down to his chapped lips. It happened so quickly; Bill’s hand was fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer as their lips were pressed softly together. His eyes were half open, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening, as if he wanted to remember the way he looked and store it away forever. Stan cupped his face gently, letting the violent red trace down his cheek to his neck. It was too bittersweet for two kids so young.

He pulled his lips away from Bill’s and sighed, linking their hands together, something they didn’t get to do when they made the pact (he was so far away Stan could’ve screamed). He rested his forehead against his friend’s and his mouth parted slightly, but no words came out. Bill was the one to speak first. “Puh-puh-promise me. T-that you’ll c-c-come back.”

Stan’s brow furrowed slightly. “I already have, Bill.”

His eyes screwed shut in frustration. “N-no. Promise m-me t-t-this time. Only me.”

Stan didn’t want to do it. Knew that if he did, that’d make it all the more harder to stay away from this fucking town. But as he looked at Bill, saw his face overwhelmed with hurt and love, he realised he would lie his ass off for this boy to make him smile, no matter how much pain it would cause them in the long run. Stan tightened his grip on Bill’s hand. “I promise. I’ll come back.” The hurt replaced with relief made his heart ache. He could feel it, they both knew it was a lie; but he couldn’t bear to break the spell by admitting it out loud.

Stan’s bloodied hand traced Bill’s face again. “Bye,” he smiled sadly, drinking in his features for the last time. As he walked away, he didn’t notice Bill’s eyes trailing after him, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, the attempt of a broken “bye” that only came out as a “B-b-b-b-b-buh…”

That was the first and last time Stan Uris would kiss Bill Denbrough.

 

_27 Years Later_

“Is this the Denbrough residence?”

_Plink._

“Yes? Who is this?”

_Plink._

“Bill? It’s Mike. Mike Hanlon. From Derry. It-It’s back.”

_Plink._

“…Have you spoken to the others? Are they coming?”

_Plink._

“I think so. But Stan sounded pretty strange on the phone.”

_Plink._

“I’ll be there. See you soon.”

_Plink._

_Plink._

_Plink._

**Author's Note:**

> i hope the ending wasnt too ambiguous?? if youve read the book you should get it!! if not hmu


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